the more things seem to change...the more they stay the same...Don't you think that's strange?

I would probably be the first person to describe myself as a stalker.

One of my favorite things about Myspace and Facebook, hands down, is the ability both sites give you to find out things you never knew about people, as well as a way to reconnect with long-lost relatives/friends/"friends"/oh who am I kidding I've only heard this person's name once in an overheard conversation but I guess that counts as friendship.

But today was one of those days when I realized, once again, how dull and bland my life is compared to other people's. This usually happens when I make a new "friend" and read their profile to see what they've been up to in the years since we've seen each other.

In the past couple years, countless numbers of people I used to go to school with -- including one of my best friends -- have gotten engaged, a few have actually tied the knot and still a few more have actually had children or are expecting to in the near future. Others have gone on to join the military or have moved across the country to pursue their passions.

Where does that leave me? I'm a college student, just like the majority of my graduating class. I'm pursuing a major that every so often I have second thoughts about -- usually when I draw a blank on an assignment for J 101 because I get lost trying to take apart sentences, when I have to write a 108-page research paper in just more than two months, or when I realize that I'm going to miss out on all sorts of "opportunities" to jump-start my (hopefully) future career because I have no work samples because I haven't exactly done a lot of journalistic writing during my time at UO.

The one relationship I ever had failed (not my doing, which only proves that I'm as unlovable as I thought) and most of the time I'm invisible to the world. At least it seems that way.

I know that if anyone even reads this, they'll likely protest my assertion and point out that I'm amazing too. And I love you guys a lot, more than I can communicate. I just really feel the need to vent right now. And it's just really hard to notice my own success when everyone else's lives are vibrant and constantly changing next to my own dull existence.

(Corinne Bailey Rae, "Put Your Records On")