Spew...updated slightly from Facebook.

Sometimes I think things would be a lot less complicated if I could simply burst into a flaming ball of rage whenever I got angry or frustrated. No questions, no misunderstood online angst. Just a pretty self-explanatory visual. Kind of like this.
I really want to visit Boise. Two people live there whom I miss very much...they're among my closest, truest friends and it sucks that the time we had together over break was so short. If I had money and a way to get there and if time wasn't an object, I would be there tonight. Never mind how I generally feel about Greyhound buses, particularly being on them for more than the hour and a half between Woodburn and Eugene (with stops in Salem and Corvallis.)

Right now I'm taking Philosophy 170: Love and Sex, and based solely on what happened in the first lecture I can tell that this is going to be an emotionally trying experience for me. Mostly because I already have rock solid views on love and sex that became more clear during the past eight months -- and to that specific person who will likely not care enough to read this, I still think you're a jerk for what you did to me as well as the manner in which you did so -- and which basically consist of the following. Sex is something that I would reserve for marriage if I had any hope of ever being emotionally close to anyone in that way again. And love...just won't happen to me. I'm fairly confident in that assertion.

After thinking about it, I guess that's because I have ridiculously high standards on what I feel a relationship should be. Personally I don't want to waste my time on anything that doesn't seem like it has potential for long-term success. The fewer heartbreaks, the better. So clearly this means I'm old fashioned and have zero chance of finding anyone, let alone reproducing. Oh well. I'm still sticking to my beliefs.

I know it's bad to hate people, but I just can't bring myself to feel anything else but resentment and hatred toward the evil jerk who broke my heart last summer. Yes, it was more than eight months ago, which many people have argued is more than enough time to get over it. Well, I'm still trying to get over it, and having a bit of a rough time doing so. What's even more hurtful is that many of the people who said they'd always be around for me -- aka my best friends in the whole wide world who love and care about me and only want the best for me -- have left me. Luckily I do have a handful of real friends. You know who you are, and I love you guys. To the others: You know who you are, and I'll keep what you've done in mind when you're going through times of trouble.

I was thinking earlier today how sweet it would be to burn some sort of effigy to commemorate the fact that I'm trying to move on and leave the past in the past. However, I'm not sure how to go about doing so in a way that's legal -- i.e. finding a location that allows open fires.

I have one week remaining in my Mountain Dew fast. Once it's over though, I may not be so quick to revert back to my trend of at least one beverage a day consisting of Dew. I've found during the past 33 days that other drinks, such as cream soda, Sunkist and -- gasp -- milk? actually taste pretty good and are just as satisfying as Dew if I give them half a chance. I will not, however, go so far as to completely give it up. I need to get energy somehow during my potential summer job and during marching band season... :)

I have a new black friend. Her name is Tami. She cost $2.99 at Goodwill. One of these days, I'm going to take her bowling!
I've decided Pluto is my planet buddy. We're both tiny, lonely and misunderstood by a lot of people.
I love ballroom dance! We learned how to waltz yesterday. Because I have amazing friends like Claire, Bess, Jeff, Melissa and Andrew, I already had some waltzing experience -- including Jeff's and my experiment with waltzing in 4/4 time. I just wish I had more opportunities...

After an agonizing two-week thought process, I have decided to forgo campus band indefinitely. Apparently I'm still having issues with certain people...we get along, but for some reason I'm still not completely comfortable going back. Maybe because Ashley and I haven't actually seen each other in person since The Incident.

I really miss Alitia, and I will forever regret that the last couple of months she was in Eugene...weren't the best. Oh well. At least she seems happy to be back home in Central Point, and at least while she's there she can do what she needs to do to be able to come back (work full time and get a little bit more money behind her.) P.S. The angel you made me is hanging on the wall above my bed. I look at it every night and think about you. It sounds cheesy, but I'm not even joking.

I really need to stop buying so much food and start cooking what I have. However, I usually remember this when I have to be on campus for an hour in between classes -- enough time so I need to grab something to eat, but not enough to run home and grab something quick, let alone cook anything.

I'm a little afraid of J 203.

I'm a little more afraid of my PHIL 170 GTF.