You stir up emotions in a blender, everything in disarray...

I'm really tired of people hurting me.

I know that's part of life, and I even know that shit happens to a lot of people more often than it should.

But I'm having a hell of a time trying to figure out who my real friends are and who's just along for the ride while it's convenient, but then suddenly disappears when I need them.

Especially when some of them bounce back and forth between both categories by the day.

I want another tuba buddy hug. From either of them would be nice, although I know one of them is much more likely than the other, which at this point is nearly impossible.

But he's probably off doing something right now with someone else. Or sleeping. I hope he's sleeping.

My God I am paranoid.

Maybe this is why I don't deserve friends. I'm just too damn volatile.

Sigh...

(Sígur Rós, "Ara Batur/The Row Boat")