Anyone who knew me last year knows that I was not the most pleasant person to be around. I was coming off a sudden, unexpected breakup, which combined with school and stress and all kinds of other issues, made me miserable. I was angry. I was bitter. I went from denying what had happened, to refusing to ever enter another relationship again, to worrying that I would die alone. Many of my close friends, who have been dating their significant others for relatively long periods of time (2-3 years or more) reassured me that that wasn't the case, that if they had found happiness, then so could I.
And in the past year, I've come a long way toward enjoying life again. I caught the bouquet at Claire's wedding, which if nothing else is a tangible reminder of hope for the future. And it's been up and down, but I've been at a relatively stable point emotionally for a while now.
Unfortunately, that stability is constantly being tested.
The most recent blow came in the early hours of Saturday morning, when I found out that Alitia, one of my best friends who lives in Central Point, and the guy she had been in a relationship with for almost two years had broken up. Both of them had visited Eugene the previous weekend for Festival of Bands, and it didn't seem to me like anything was wrong. And it seemed like they were committed to each other, that each had found in the other what they needed to be complete. It was observing loving bonds like that that gave me hope that someday, I too could enjoy something like that.
Now I'm not so sure. If it can happen to the strongest of us, what chance do I have?
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