Fun with friends!

One of my best friends, Alitia, came up to Eugene from Central Point for the weekend. She hadn't seen us since FOB -- a weekend when both Ashley and I were super busy with OMB stuff -- and there wasn't a football game this weekend because the Ducks had beaten the Beavers in the Civil War the previous Thursday. It ended up being really good timing too; she and her boyfriend for almost two years had broken up recently, and Saturday would have been their two-year anniversary (aka a day she really didn't want to spend alone, or near him...) So, she came up Friday night, and merriment ensued.

Friday, she joined me and a bunch of friends (both people she knew from OMB last year and some amazing new friends) for tailgating. Traditionally we do this the night before home football games, but Thursday's game would have put tailgating on the Wednesday night of dead week -- very few people would have been out and about at the bars and stuff, and we would have angered more people than we would have entertained. So...we rallied on Friday to celebrate the Ducks' victory over the Beavers and the trip to the Rose Bowl! Also, Brian got to come finally because he didn't have to work until the next day, and he borrowed some of my 'gating attire.

After tailgating, we got a yummy late-night dinner at Dough Co. and then went to the Walmart parking lot to eat and then walk around for a bit in the store. We finished eating, Alitia reminded me to lock the front door, we walked about 10 feet from the car, and...Alitia realized that she had left her keys in the ignition. So, our casual stroll through Walmart ended up turning into a frantic search for wire coat hangers and duct tape. About 45 minutes of freezing cold weather and hard work later, we had successfully broken into Alitia's car and were on our way back to my apartment.

Saturday was a nice, relaxed day. We both slept in because we were so tired from the night before, then hung out in my warm apartment while we waited for Ashley to get off work, retrieve her boyfriend Danny and come over. Once we met up, we went to Goodwill, where we managed to find some cheap Duck game attire for Alitia, who until that point had been limited to OMB gear. Then, we went to Jamba Juice and Taco Bell (two of our favorite foody places to go) and then to Valley River Center to kill time until 9:30ish when we had planned to pick up Chase and Adam. We found some good sales, I managed to get a few more people checked off my Christmas list and we took some funny pictures in the photo booth.

Then the craziness started.

We picked up Chase and Adam and went to Strike City for cosmic bowling. Alitia took a bunch of pictures to document the occasion, and as it got later and later we got more and more silly...
After bowling we went to Shari's, where we continued to decline as far as self-control goes.



All in all, the weekend was a huge success. I got to see people I hadn't seen in a long time and Alitia said that she couldn't have asked for a better day. :)

I guess sleeping isn't an option tonight.

Sometimes, my mind and I just don't get along.

Case in point: tonight. Or this morning, rather. Right now it's just after 5 a.m. Saturday. I should be sleeping. I want to be sleeping. But apparently my mind has other plans tonight. It wants to remind me of all the things I've done to unintentionally hurt my friends, all the situations I've made awkward just by being present, all the reasons why, no matter how much I want to just lay all my feelings and problems out in front of someone for no other reason than to just get it, I can't because it will either get me in trouble or ruin my friendship with the other person.

Lots of aspects of my life are still very uncertain, and that scares me to death. I still have no clear idea of what I want to do in a year and a half (ish) when it's time for me to leave UO. I don't know where I want to live, or where I'll be able to afford to live. I'm worried about the economy, and how it's very likely that, especially in my chosen field, I'll start having to pay back the crap ton of student loans I have long before I have a secure job. I'm losing confidence in the one thing I thought I would be good at and enjoy.

But above all of those other things, the one thing that's been weighing on my mind the most lately is love, or rather, the apparent shortage of it anywhere in my near and even not-so-near future. This is also one of those things I can't really discuss with anyone, even the people who are the closest to me, without having them rehash, over and over again, how it's all in my head, how I'll only be lonely forever if I let it happen, how there are more important things in life, how I should stay positive because of all the other good things in my life, on and on and on. And I know that what they're saying makes sense.

At the same time though, for reasons I can't even begin to comprehend, it seems like everyone else I know has their lives all put together. One of the reasons I honestly can't stand being in Newberg anymore is because of the whole climate of "oh, our families have known each other forever and we've been best friends since the day we were born and now let's get married less than a year out of high school and have adorable children and on and on and on." Because that's just the way it is. In the two and a half years since I graduated from Newberg High School, at least 10 percent of all the girls in my graduating class and the one after it are engaged. A lot of them are married. Some of them even have kids.

Meanwhile, I'm out in the middle of nowhere. I've dated and been dumped by a total of one person in my entire life, and I met him in college; he wasn't someone I've known since birth and dated since middle school. I've never known any sort of romantic love, and after a year and a half with no one even on the horizon, it's not looking like I will anytime soon. And I know a ton of people would argue with this if they even bothered to read my blog, but I constantly feel like my time is running out. I don't want to be one of those people who doesn't find love until they're too old. I know people would instantly point out that I'm "only 20" and I "have a lot of time left" and "one bad relationship shouldn't be the end of the world," but when pretty much everyone else I know is at least committed to someone, or was when they were my age, it feels like it's only a matter of time before it's automatically game over, sorry, you lose.

And I know this sounds ridiculous, and I've mentioned it before, but I'm starting to wonder whether I should just give up. Not necessarily just because I don't think I'm worth it, but because I'm not sure which of my options will get me in trouble and which will actually help. If I actively look for people, I look desperate. If I start making a bunch of friends with guys and then constantly monitor the friendship to see if there's any hint of anything more, I feel like a creeper, drive myself to insanity and ruin the friendship. If I just give up, people judge me for that too. There's absolutely no way to win here, and a variety of ways to lose.

At this point, I'm even going so far as to view any sort of attraction to anyone as a red flag, and then using all available energy and willpower to keep myself in as much of a neutral, apathetic state as possible. But then that has the potential of me looking like an asshole who doesn't care. And I'm friends with these people, so I need to care. And I want to care. And so I try to care. But at the same time I'm constantly trying to maintain a balance of caring but not to the point where I get too close.

And emotional distancing is such a hard thing when you're good friends with someone, to the point where you would go to the ends of the earth for them, not out of obsession, but simply because you care deeply about them. Especially when you know that even one misinterpreted action could ruin a friendship forever, because any sort of feeling other than platonic friendship is not ok and will never be ok.

I don't know what to do anymore. I feel completely hopeless and lost. But at the same time, I have to stay positive because that's what my friends and everyone else wants. Which means I have nowhere to vent, other than a crappy blog that no one reads. Which might be a good thing. Although it really doesn't help much.

I thought sleeping would help take my mind off the problem, at least for tonight. I guess that wasn't an options, seeing as it's 6 a.m., I have yet to sleep and I still feel miserable. Maybe I should just give up on that possibility for tonight and try again in vain in 18 hours...

Fun with my phone!

aka fighting boredom at Mac Court.

Let's celebrate, remember a year in the life of friends!

The following is a dedication to some of the best friends I've known. I love all of you!

Brian Tompkins: We've known each other since elementary school, which makes you my oldest friend. However, it wasn't until high school that we finally started actually hanging out together, and I guess we can thank both band and Bess for that. :) Therefore, it seemed natural that when you finally came to Eugene after two years at PCC, we would room together. Although the beginning was a little rough -- partly because we were still adjusting to each other's idiosyncrasies and pet peeves, and partly because I was going through a lot of frustration about a variety of things -- I'm really glad that for the most part we worked things out. :)

Bess Oliver: Ever since I decided that day in CARE to hang out with you and read in the gym instead of playing games, I had a feeling that year wouldn't be the last we saw of each other, which made the ensuing (and totally bogus) time out well worth it. Unfortunately, you moved, and so our paths diverged until your freshman year of high school, when we reunited in football pep band. That year, basketball pep band was even better than it was my freshman year because for the first time I actually had someone to talk to and hang out with...plus it eventually led you to Brian. :) Since then we've only gotten closer and closer, which I've appreciated a ton, especially immediately after the whole incident in July 2008...which we will not speak of. I can't wait for you to come down here!

Claire McLeod: Although I haven't known you nearly as long as some of my other friends, I still consider you to be one of my best friends. You've been the voice of reason many times, while at the same time you can be shockingly dirty -- which in my opinion is the perfect combination. From Advanced Human Bio to the pre-prom limo orgy to your bachelorette party and wedding, we've had a bunch of fun times, and hopefully there are more in the future!

Ashley Flock: I first became aware of your existence when Chase mentioned you sometime in winter of my freshman year at UO. Not long after that, we came to Sheldon to play in the pep band. One of my favorite things about that night was that even though I wasn't a student and had in fact never attended that school, I still felt right at home with you and your friends in the clarinet section. And I had a feeling we were going to be awesome friends. I've loved all the crazy epic adventures we've had in the past couple years, and am really happy we were able to sort things out after last winter and get back to having fun!

Alitia Monasmith: My Mormon. :) When you, Ashley and I get together it's never dull. Case in point: New Year's Eve in Sacramento on the way back from the Holiday Bowl trip, and the Mad Libs on the bus. Even with all that went on, I still count that among my favorite memories. Also, you accidentally saying "c*cksucker" was pretty funny, mostly because I would have never expected it. Although your time in Eugene was cut short, know that you are missed a ton. You've been there for me through some of my darkest times, and I'm really happy that I've been able to help you out as well. Come back soon and we can bang some sticks!

Josh Shere: You're one of my newest best friends, but every day I keep wondering, where the hell have you been the past few years? And the answer to that would probably be: mixed in with the drumline, which I was convinced only had a bunch of dbags. Little did I know that there were nice people too. However, I think you randomly stalked me on Facebook one day and we started talking, and then you tailgated with us before the WSU game, and from there we started hanging out more. But it's a lot deeper than that; you've also been online at 4 a.m. when I needed to talk, you've texted back and forth for indecent amounts of time in order to set me straight when I was having an off day emotionally, and you give awesome hugs. Basically, you're up there with people I've known forever like Bess and Brian, a feat you managed to accomplish in five months, probably by magic or something. Anyway, you're one of the awesomest people I know, evidenced by the fact that you're on this list. And also, 211 really isn't that hard to play.

Hey! Pachuco!

Finally, things seem to be falling into place.

The people who I call my friends have been and continue to be the most amazing people I've ever known. And I find new friends where I least expect them to be.

With the exception of a few people who will probably always rub me the wrong way, marching band is a truly awesome experience. Even during band camp, I was wondering if I had made a mistake by wanting to switch from clarinet to euphonium -- prior to this year I had never played a brass instrument in my life -- and as a result, I contemplated quitting band because I knew there was no way I could ever feel comfortable in the clarinet section again. However, as the season progresses, I continue to get better and more confident on my horn, and even though I will probably never reach the level of most of the rest of my section, I've finally found something about marching band that I genuinely enjoy, and to me that's enough.

Things are becoming more stable on the friendship front. I've fixed friendships with most of the people I hurt last year, and those who still hold a grudge against me for whatever reason are not central to my life anymore; they've moved to the outer fringe where I can push them out of my mind a lot more easily. I've also met several new people, as well as some others who I wish I would have known earlier, and they've quickly become trusted friends.

Work, although fun, was initially stressful. I continue to get criticism and direction almost every day. However, I'm learning to look at such things as a desire on the part of the more experienced workers to help me do my job better. And I think I'm doing better as time goes on, so yay for improvement! Another plus: I feel a lot more connected to the kids than I did even a month ago. While at first they didn't even remember my name, now they hug me, draw me pictures and want me to sit by them in the circle. :)

So yeah. That's just a snippet of what's been going on lately. This is also an attempt to try and revive my poor blog that has been ignored a bit as of late...

Pic-tarrrrrrrrs.

The entire stadium storms the field after an epic 47-20 demolition of USC.


One of the trees near Autzen.

Cool shadows on the side of one of the art buildings.

The presence of Oregon's craziest student fans memorialized on the South Gate.

A portal to another dimension.

Creepy spider.

Urban farm?

Sunflowers in the Urban Farm.

The Millrace.

dUckbOy made it onto the cover of two student publications simultaneously. The Commentator shows him being sodomized by Scrooge's cane to illustrate a story about the problems with the online student ticketing system, while the ODE did a feature story about the Insane-O's in its Game Day section.

Mac Court as seen from the 300 level. Section 10, aka "The Pit," is the green and yellow bleachers on the right.

Another lifelong dream, realized. Sort of. I still need to haunt it Phantom-style before they tear the place down.

The future alumni/student athlete services building.

these people make me smile.

Today's post is dedicated to my friends who have been there for me even when things got really bad. I love you all immensely.

Brian Tompkins



Bess Oliver



Claire (Judson) McLeod



Ashley Flock



Alitia Monasmith



Jake McGrew



Josh Shere

i'm a wind up toy in an up down world...

Anyone who knew me last year knows that I was not the most pleasant person to be around. I was coming off a sudden, unexpected breakup, which combined with school and stress and all kinds of other issues, made me miserable. I was angry. I was bitter. I went from denying what had happened, to refusing to ever enter another relationship again, to worrying that I would die alone. Many of my close friends, who have been dating their significant others for relatively long periods of time (2-3 years or more) reassured me that that wasn't the case, that if they had found happiness, then so could I.

And in the past year, I've come a long way toward enjoying life again. I caught the bouquet at Claire's wedding, which if nothing else is a tangible reminder of hope for the future. And it's been up and down, but I've been at a relatively stable point emotionally for a while now.

Unfortunately, that stability is constantly being tested.

The most recent blow came in the early hours of Saturday morning, when I found out that Alitia, one of my best friends who lives in Central Point, and the guy she had been in a relationship with for almost two years had broken up. Both of them had visited Eugene the previous weekend for Festival of Bands, and it didn't seem to me like anything was wrong. And it seemed like they were committed to each other, that each had found in the other what they needed to be complete. It was observing loving bonds like that that gave me hope that someday, I too could enjoy something like that.

Now I'm not so sure. If it can happen to the strongest of us, what chance do I have?

blarg...

I've hated exercising forever.
I now go for a walk almost every night.
I really like it.
I think being left handed would be sweet.
Sometimes I practice writing with my other hand just to see what it's like.
I have an addiction to Mountain Dew.
My favorite is Mountain Dew Voltage, although I've tried and liked almost every flavor.
I have a mini fridge full of the aforementioned Dew in my bedroom.
When in doubt, medicate.
Sometimes this may involve self-medication.
Because I don't drink or do drugs, self-medication usually takes the form of Mountain Dew.
Which is conveniently located in the fridge in my room.
After one day on the job, I'm confident I will love my job.
Parts of it also scare the crap out of me.
I'm extremely attracted to brown eyes.
I miss being in a relationship. A lot.
Not so much that I'll settle for just anyone.
But enough so that it still stings when people get all mushy in public.
I hate Valentine's Day.
And not because it's commercial. I love buying crap.
That's why Black Friday is so awesome.
But because it's a cruel, sadistic holiday designed to separate the happy people from the lonely people.
I feel like no matter what I do or don't do, I keep losing more friends every day.
This is my third year as a member of the Oregon Marching Band, and I'm still not completely sure I've found my place.
Finding my place may have been further delayed by my choice to drastically switch instruments in the middle of my college career.
Oh well. At least I can feel like I'm one step closer to being able to realistically dream of becoming a badass.
In addition to a clarinet, which I can play fairly well, I also own a flute and a keyboard, neither of which I can play.
Journalism is my other love besides music.
I decided on my major my junior year of high school.
I still don't know what I want to do.
I constantly worry that I'll never know.
I have random music moods, and iPod playlists to accommodate them.
I wish I would have been awesome enough to be in the student section for football my freshman year.
Then maybe it wouldn't seem so strange now when I go to volleyball games.
211 and 415 are my favorite songs that the garter bands play.
For those who don't know, that means "Separate Ways" and the theme from Duck Tales, respectively.
People look at me strangely when I know the words to stands tunes.
I don't really care.
I've passed that age when people think that sounding cool when you talk involves using profanity every other word in every sentence.
It's all about discretion.
I don't care what your religious beliefs are, or even if you have any.
I do care when you make a point to trash mine in front of me.
Especially when I don't do it to you.
I may not be the poster child for piety, but I don't appreciate feeling threatened.
I hate wearing my hair down.
I hate when it's in my face, and it looks terrible.
Which is why it's almost always up.
I miss a lot of people.
Some I will probably never talk to again.
Oh well, that's the way life goes sometimes.
I just wish this didn't happen all the time, with each new group of people I hang out with.
I'm craving egg salad right now.
But I don't know how to make it, and it's almost 11 at night, so Barry's is definitely closed right now.
Not that I want to go to campus right now anyway.
I'm tired of having people my own age act like they're my parents.
I already have some. I don't need more.
Especially when my actual parents don't boss me around that much.
I worry every day that after I graduate college, I'm going to fail at life.
I know a lot of people won't read this, and that's cool.
I won't judge you.
I just need to clear my mind so I can figure stuff out and where to go from here.

Whatever.

You can please most people some of the time, and you can please some people all the time.

This post is dedicated to not being able to please anyone any of the time.

With those impossible odds, why even bother trying anymore?

Wow.

This has been an interesting night.

So Brian and I went to Albertson's to buy a newspaper. As we got out of the car, I saw, across the parking lot, the one car I was not expecting to see.

Yup, that's right. A red 1994 Buick LeSabre.

My initial reaction was one of panic. And my suspicions were confirmed when Brian and I entered the store and I saw HIM in the checkout line. As we were looking for a paper, Ashley, who was with him, saw me and waved. He did the same. Later that evening we had a pleasant conversation on Facebook. Nothing deep or personal, but definitely better than any words exchanged between us in the past year.

I think I've finally hit a point where I can move on, live my life, and not harbor hard feelings toward certain people in my past. Which is definitely a positive. At the very least, I proved to myself that I can be the bigger person.

Ugh.

So much stuff to think about and worry about.

I can't even write right now.

"Passion is a blatant understatement."

The Oregon volleyball team had a tournament this weekend, and I went to all three matches and hung out with the Insane-O's - a nice change from football games where I'm pretty much restricted to the OMB section. Between the second and third games, kids attending the game get to play musical chairs.

Well, at this morning's game, there weren't a lot of kids, so the Insane-O's filled in...well, they pretty much ARE kids. :)

Introduction

Cam-O waves to the crowd

Getting started.

And dUckbOy's out. Three more.

Yeah!

And...Cam-O falls in the final round to the guy in the black shirt. Oh well.

25 things...

1. I've recently discovered how much fun going for a nice long walk can be. Especially at dusk, or late at night with other people.
2. I occasionally and randomly burst into dance. This is just as likely to happen while walking down the sidewalk as it is in my apartment.
3. I kick ass at pinball. Whoever wants to challenge me, come on over!
4. I love fedoras. They add a touch of class to any outfit.
5. I'm growing more pessimistic about my future every day.
6. I love love love my new apartment.
7. I miss my friends who are at Boise State right now enduring band camp. Especially some of them whom I haven't seen in months.
8. I hate Miley Cyrus. With a passion. She's talentless, she's becoming more and more of a slut every week and her song "Party In The U.S.A." makes my ears bleed.
9. Conversely, I really like a lot of the songs I've heard on the radio lately. They're perfect for long walks and random epic dancing.
10. I think Dave Ramsey is really informative, regardless of what some people might think.
11. I love the bulk food section at Winco. Next time I go I'm going to stock up on snacks.
12. I'm getting more and more into movies than I've ever been in my life. Right now, my movie collection outnumbers Brian's, and I have a list of more that I want to own in the near future.
13. The ambience music at Old Navy is amazing.
14. I have way too many different instruments in my bedroom right now. I should learn to play more of them.
15. I'm slowly and steadily getting better at keyboard.
16. I really wish I could find my niche in the world.
17. I wish cooking didn't intimidate me so much.
18. I miss the dogs. I especially miss Lu, because I haven't seen her in nine months. I'm beginning to wonder if she's even considered our dog anymore. And it makes me sad.
19. That last one made me really depressed all of a sudden.
20. I really wish I could be more comfortable around some people, less comfortable around others and less impulsive in general.
21. At the same time that I'm excited about marching band, I'm also extremely worried. This is going to put me in a potentially difficult position. But I also know that I'm doing what I want to do, and I'm not going to let my past keep me from doing that.
22. I don't get why people are so shocked that I hate pet names. I like my name, so let's use it.
23. I have the moral values of a 1950s housewife, but the openmindedness of a 1960s flower child. This can annoy a lot of people. I don't really care.
24. There are certain areas of my life where I feel equally sure of myself and completely confused. As a result, I spend a lot of time frustrated because I don't know what to do.
25. I want love. True, unfailing love. And my friends are all confident that I'll find it. I want to believe them. But it's so difficult.

New blog!

Hey! I just wanted to do a little bit of advertising for my brand-new blog, The Best Free Stuff Ever! (thebestpriceisfree.blogspot.com). It will feature, hopefully on a somewhat regular basis, discoveries that I've made of all sorts of free stuff - music, samples, ways to help the world and more!

See you there!

bored at PCC

What is more difficult for you, looking into someones eyes when you are telling them how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when they are telling you how they feel?

Looking into someone's eyes in general is really difficult. But to answer the question, probably looking into someone's eyes when they are telling you how they feel.

Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way?

I was really angry last spring when my friends abandoned me for no explainable reason. And I'm not mad at most of them anymore.

You are on a flight from Honolulu to Chicago nonstop. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them?

Probably my parents, to say that I love them.

You are at the doctor’s office and he has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? What do you do with your remaining days? Would you be afraid?

I'd let some people know, but I wouldn't just tell everyone; there are some people who don't need to know or wouldn't care, and I hate having tons of attention drawn to me/people making a huge deal about me. I'd probably do all sorts of crazy stuff that I've never done before, and I would probably be a little afraid, just because death is a scary thought.

You can have one of the following two things: Love or Trust. Which do you choose? Why?

Trust. Love seems to naturally follow.

You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late even once more, you are fired. Do you take the time to save the dog’s life?

Of course. Any boss who wouldn't respect kindness and compassion is someone I wouldn't want to work for in the first place. Plus, there's nothing in that question that says that I will definitely be late for work... :)

You are unfaithful to your spouse/significant other. Do you tell him/her? Why or Why not?

First off, this would never happen to me, because I'm picky enough to choose to be in a relationship with someone I can devote the rest of my life to. However, honesty is always the best policy in any relationship, and your partner would probably rather find out from you than through the grapevine.

Your friend confesses that he/she has feelings for you more then just friendship. He/she is falling in love with you. What do you do/say?

OH SNAP!

Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend?

Sometimes.

Does love = sex?

Sex is a very important part of certain types of relationships, and once you're completely commited to someone (aka after marriage) it's an important part of showing your devotion to your partner. However, there are many types of love that people have for various other relationships (i.e. friendships, parent-child, pets, etc.) that shouldn't involve sex.

When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person?

Probably mediation with Alitia.

What would be (or what was) harder for you to tell a friend, you love them or that you do not love them back?

That I don't love them back.

What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose?

I think it would be incredibly hard for me to give up all contact with other people. I've experienced isolation before, and it's more painful that almost anything else one can imagine.

Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them? Who were they to you?

Probably Mom, at some point today.

Imagine: it is a dark night, you are alone, it is raining outside, you hear someone walking around outside your window. WHO do you wish was there with you?

A big tough guy with a mask.

Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?

Yeah (assuming I can relearn CPR before the opportunity presents itself), because everyone deserves lifesaving effort if it's available.

You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your reason for making the decision?

First off, this question is messed up. But I'd probably save the grandmother.

Are you old fashioned?

In some ways, yes.

When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

Yesterday.

Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

Having never loved at all. It's a lot less painful.

If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

I wish someone would recognize my true potential, and that that someone wouldn't be a creeper.

The countdown begins...

In three days Brian and I will start the process of moving back down to Eugene for the school year. Although marching band is still a little more than a month away, and school doesn't start for another two weeks after that, we're moving into our apartment this weekend because the management couldn't reserve our apartment past this Friday.

The epic moving adventure starts Friday morning, when we will go down to Eugene to sign the lease and move as many boxes as we can into the apartment. It will continue Saturday when we rent a moving truck from Tigard and run all over Newberg picking up furniture and boxes from various locations, then make the hour-and-a-half-long trek down to Eugene to move everything into the apartment, then return the truck. Woohoo.

More to follow, including pictures of the new apartment!

Best of 2009: Part One

Now that more than half of 2009 is in the books, I thought it would be fun to sort of go back through the past seven-ish months and compile sort of a collection of memories. These are in no particular order except how I happened to remember them.

• "I like how you tear into those things. You're like a freakin' fire truck!" - said by Brian during dinner at Lucky Fortune one weekend when I managed to make it home from Eugene. The fire truck reference comes from the Family Guy episode "Petarded."
• Office party night, April 9, 2009. - This was the first time I had ever been introduced to the real game of life, which we played at Cameron's apartment while waiting for The Office to start. Thus began several months and counting of playing the game and sharing it with a bunch of other people, and the game has only become more and more fun.
• Finishing the SOJC pre-major requirements. - Finally, I can consider myself a true UO journalism major. Info Hell, Duncan McDonald and J101 are all things of the past and now I can focus on bigger and better things...like trying to figure out what exactly I want to do with my news-editorial degree now that all the newspapers in the country are shutting down.
• Concerts. - Beginning with Jason Webley March 19, continuing with OK Go March 30 and The Decemberists May 21, and most recently Relient K May 29, this was a busy spring as far as my live music intake is concerned. All of the aforementioned are among my favorite musicians, so I didn't consider any of the shows to be a bad deal, although having someone to hang out with at the Decemberists show would have been fun.
• Turning 20. - Although not nearly as eventful as next year will likely be, this July 14 was nevertheless a milestone - I am no longer a teenager, although I've been an adult for two years now. Now I have a full year to carefully plan out my next birthday, as it has the potential to end either good or bad...let's hope for good.
• Finally making it to the Melting Pot. - For the past couple of years, I have had to deal with Bess and Brian continually mentioning how amazing the Melting Pot is and satisfying myself with continuing to mention how much I really wanted to go sometime. Finally, for my birthday, Bess and Brian took me out to dinner at the best restaurant in the world (well in Portland anyway) and we enjoyed: Quattro Formaggio cheese fondue with bread, apples and vegetables; California salads (lettuce and tomatoes with crumbled Gorgonzola cheese, walnuts and raspberry black walnut vinaigrette); Coq Au Vin fondue (fresh herbs, mushrooms, garlic, spices and burgundy wine) with shrimp, duck, teriyaki sirloin, pork, chicken and potstickers; and S'mores fondue with cheesecake, strawberries, bananas, Oreo- and graham-cracker-coated marshmallows, pound cake and brownies. Plus the atmosphere is super sexy: the restaurant is underground, so you descend down a winding stairway into a dimly lit wonderland.

Hopefully the rest of 2009 will have more fun times!

Update: July 23, 2009

• I found a bed for my apartment. Now to go pick it up tomorrow morning!
• I'm rereading Walk Two Moons. It's pretty good.
• The Old Fashioned Festival is once again upon us. I'm looking forward to watching Ben Rice perform, eating an elephant ear, getting free stuff from the vendor booths, watching the parade and watching the fireworks!
• I'm in the process of weeding out more excess stuff from my bedroom. My goal is to be able to either store things at my parents' house for later on in life or move it into my apartment in Eugene (and then move it back to the berg at the end of the school year.) So basically if it's not important enough to move around with me and I won't need it in five years, I'm getting rid of it.
• I'm toying around with different design ideas for newsletters in my head...just because I sort of randomly do that sort of thing from time to time. I don't have anything specific in mind though...maybe next time I'm at PCC I'll pick up a few really interesting ones and make up an inspiration binder or something.
  
• I want a bigger corkboard. Currently, my ticket stubs live on a French-style bulletin board in the shape of a semi-formal dress. This is all well and good, except I have all sorts of other small paper memorabilia items -- stickers, programs, etc. -- that don't really belong with the tickets and/or don't fit on the dress board. Hopefully I'll find something soon so I can move all my random treasures out of drawers and shoeboxes and put them on display.
  

Yuppies annoy the hell out of me.

People who:

• live in Sherwood.
• buy cell phones for their elementary school-age child.
• have a country club/golf course membership.
• drive a Prius (for environmentalist cred), which they park next to their SUV in their spacious two-car garage in their immaculate gated community.
• live in a house that's less than 1000 square feet, two stories tall, six inches away from the identical house next door (if they don't share a wall), paid $300,000 for it, and considered it a "bargain."
• dress their young children in Abercrombie and Fitch or Hollister.
• take yearly vacations to places like Hawaii.
• decorates their home with ridiculous, meaningless crap like fake fruit, sconces and dimmer lights.
• have an all-white living room.
• I'm sure I'll think of more...
  

I said Hey! What's going on???

Here's a bit of what's been going on and what's to come:

I have an apartment!!!
My friend Brian (who will be my roommate this upcoming school year) and I went down to Eugene a couple weeks ago to hunt for somewhere to live. We looked at several complexes near Autzen Stadium and finally found somewhere to apply. We went down to Eugene again two days later to turn in our applications, and we even got a look inside the apartment we hoped to get. That Friday, we found out that our applications had been approved and we got the apartment. We will be living in the Parkgrove apartments, which are next to Ducks Village and across Kinsrow from Chase Village. We get to move in August 14, after which I will be posting pictures documenting the move-in process.

Claire and Melissa got married! But not to each other!
The weekend before my birthday, I was super busy. Two of my friends had weddings in as many days.

The fun started Friday night with Claire's bachelorette party. We went to Washington Square Mall, a shopping trip which included Icing (for the all-important "Hot Bride" sash), Spencer's (for body crayons, which we used immediately upon exiting the store), and Victoria's Secret (for a couple of surprises for Ian).

It continued the next day with Melissa Kelley's wedding, on the Cammack farm just south of Salem. Our families have been neighbors for a few years now.

Sunday was the longest day of my entire life. Brian picked me up from my house at 9 a.m. for the two-hour drive to Rockaway Beach. When we got there, it was starting to sprinkle, which gradually become harder and harder rain as the time for the wedding drew near. Claire made an executive decision to keep the ceremony on the beach as planned, although everyone got fairly wet. Luckily we got inside for the reception just as the monsoon started. :)

Brian was in charge of the music, and we danced to all of our favorites from high school dances and ice cream orgies. They had two cakes: a coconut cake and a champagne cake, both with lots of raspberries. I caught the bouquet...which should be really lucky, right? And when it was time for Claire and Ian to leave, the crowd that had gathered outside the city hall (where the reception was held) made so much noise that a passing driver who had turned to see what was going on ended up driving off the road...haha :)

So basically, it was the biggest party weekend ever.

I turned 20!
My actual birthday was fairly uneventful, although my parents took me out to dinner Saturday night at McCormick & Schmick's. I slept through the entire morning (the craziness of the previous weekend had finally caught up with me) and had class that night, so I couldn't do much. However, I did get lots of lovely birthday wishes, beginning at 2 a.m. when Josh and Cameron both texted me (Josh actually texted me, emailed me, wrote on my facebook wall, got on facebook chat and sent me a message on Twitter). After chatting with Cameron for an hour or so, I slept for about four hours until Mom and Matt came in to give me my gifts (a card, five pairs of earrings and a new Oregon hoodie). After they left, I tried to go back to sleep, but I was soon bombarded with six text messages and a ton of Facebook notifications. Thank you so much to everyone who wished me a happy birthday! And I still need to figure out a date for Bess and Brian to take me to dinner at the Melting Pot!

I got an A on my first psychology test!
Because my birthday is in the middle of summer, I usually don't have class on my birthday. However, because I'm taking PSY 215 this summer at PCC to get some science credit, not only did I have class on my birthday; Tuesday was the date of my first test. Luckily, I did well, considering I finished the thing in 15 minutes. Even better news: I looked up the transfer equivalent online, and my PSY 215 class counts as PSY 210 at UO! Yay!

More to follow!

An attempt to revive my poor wilted blog...

Sorry, it's been busy the past few weeks, with class, two weddings, a bachelorette party and my birthday...Hopefully later tonight I'll have time to post something groundbreaking and thought-provoking. :) Stay tuned!

To do this summer

• Get my license -- finally -- so I can actually consider myself a legitimate citizen of society.
• Learn to play the euphonium.
• Work.
• Hang with the cousins. This will include swing dance lessons and air guitaring at the McLoughlin Blvd. Burgerville as well as a fashion photoshoot.
  
• Possibly make it down to Central Point?
• Secure an apartment for next school year.
• Have another SEXtet get together before Claire and Ian get too far into their married life...
• Turn 20. That one should be easy, provided I don't die sometime in the next couple of weeks.
• Start planning for 21.
  
• Buy books for next school year.
• Write article for a friend's online magazine.
• Something epic. I'm not sure what. But it needs to happen.
• Love the puppies :)
• Go to the drive-in at least once.
• Oaks Park (also with cousins)
• to be continued...I know there's more, but I'm really tired.
  

It's been a while...

so I guess it's update time!

• I'm home for the summer. I just finished my second year at the University of Oregon and am (hopefully) halfway through my college career. I am also done with the SOJC premajor requirements and will be a full major beginning fall term.
• I managed to borrow a euphonium from the School of Music so I can learn how to play it before fall. So far it's going better than I would have expected, but Separate Ways still sounds like someone with an upset stomach.
• It's really cold in here...
• I miss a ton of people in Eugene.
• I also missed a ton of people here in Newberg while I was in Eugene.
• I made dinner tonight. It actually turned out quite well. It's amazing what working appliances and counter space can do for cooking skills.
• Baby Bear makes cute music when he dances on my keyboard. It scares him though. Which is even cuter.
• I can't wait until football season...pickup games, being in Eugene again, marching band, the antics of the Insane-O's...hopefully not having to bail any of them out of jail...
• I want to collect more Oregon stuff. Not as much as Cameron has...that's probably overdoing it a bit...but definitely more.
• I have too many collections.
• I should work on my photography.
• I really need to learn to drive. Seriously. This is pathetic.
• Bear reminds me of Woodstock the bird from the Charlie Brown cartoons when he whines.
• It felt like it was late when it was 8 p.m. Now it's almost 10:20 and feels early.
  

This has been a pretty awesome week. :)

• A group of people and I sang a reggae-ish version of "Stomp" by Kirk Franklin for someone's solo project audition for Gospel Choir. I doubt we'll actually get to perform it -- Andiel was laughing pretty hard the whole time -- but it was a lot of fun.
• My iPod crashed on Wednesday. But I fixed it and now it's all better.
• I have some of the best friends ever. :)
• I kick BUTT at Mafia Wars.
• The finale of The Office was pretty good, but it had a weird ending. Happy, but kind of random.
• A good friend bought me lunch at Qdoba on Wednesday.
• Ashley and I volunteered for University Day on Thursday. It was awesome and I got a really sweet brown shirt.
• We started rumba in Ballroom 1. Yet another example of how my "laughin' place" really is on a dance floor. :)
• I get to see the Decemberists in just less than a week.
• I get to see Relient K a week after that.
• I got a bunch of good music from Hailey. Sharing my iTunes library is hands down the most successful social gesture I have consistently made with people.
• I can't wait for football season! :D :D :D
• Life is amazing.
  

Confusion.

It's 1:30 a.m. and I'm still awake. My mind is a stew of thoughts and emotions.

My friend Bess informed me Sunday via Skype, and my band director yesterday via email, that the longtime band director at Boise State University, David Wells, succumbed to cancer. He was 70.

The marching bands at BSU and UO have a particularly close connection -- the BSU chapter of Kappa Kappa Psi, a national honorary band fraternity, is the parent chapter for UO's colony (basically a pre-chapter.) So many OMB members have met and developed close friendships with many members of BSU's band. And of course, as musicians we're all part of the tight circle of band. When tragedy hits one group, we all are saddened.

Although I didn't know Dr. Wells personally, it's still a somber occasion. His death marks the end of an era for the Blue Thunder Marching Band and the beginning of a new, very different one. Band directors have a certain effect on the musicians they oversee, and their individual character is reflected in the performance of the band.

R.I.P. Dr. Wells. You will be missed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Speaking of Boise State, one of my friends who attends BSU randomly messaged me on Facebook saying "Hey, haven't talked to you in a while, we should change that."

My response: "Hi."

My brain's response: Huh?!?

You see, I had tried to talk to him several times on Skype in the past week or so. Most of those times he didn't respond. When he did respond, he said he had to leave soon. Why? To talk to his "ex of choice" on Skype. Yep, they're no longer officially dating, but they still make a point to talk to each other, even going so far as to say "I love you" to each other. He cares a lot about this girl, and yet she treats him like crap time and time again.

Why is it that so many of my male friends are so painfully masochistic? Another one of my male friends, who I met just recently, was talking to his roommate one night. He said something to the effect of "Sometimes I wish I wasn't such a nice guy." Yet another case of guys giving their female friends everything in their power and getting nothing in return.

Of course, if they're not "nice guys," they're douchebags. Like Chase. But we won't get into that. Mostly because you already know most of the story. And personally, I'd much rather have guys be too nice than be arrogant, uncaring jerks. I just wish I didn't have to watch my friends get hurt.